One Liners

It's a year almost to the day since I had my last cold, or man flu as most people prefer to call it. So to cheer myself up I thought I'd post some slightly amusing one liners I've been sent. Enjoy, sniff....   BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT   These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:   FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.  8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! ___________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES  1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. ________________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. _______________________________________________________ WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ___________________________________________________________ And the WINNER is...   FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows ___________________________________________________________